You Sow, You Reap

Read in the voice of old, British ladies:

"Chomp, umfh, chomp, umfh. I must say, darling, these cookies you sent over are simply marvellous."

"I'm glad you enjoyed them, dear. I had them made especially by my human. Something about their hands, you know, it's so magical. It's out of my grasp."

"Yes, umfh, yes, I can't put my finger on it either. But I read this article in the New Porker yesterday, which said it might be something about their thumbs..?"

"Teehee, teehee, you and your conspiracy theories. You should stop reading that stuff, it's not good for your noggin."

"Well, I have to do something to keep myself occupied."

"I suppose if you must. Do you know, the human at Mrs Walsh's down the street left her unceremoniously. Said it was being treated like a beast."

"Oh my, that's terrible. She must be absolutely gutted!"

"Yes she was, nice and proper. Poor thing was in tears when she had to eat her breakfast directly off her plate."

"But she's such a sweet soul. I heard she even bought it a new blankie and everything."

"Now, this might be a rumour, but I think it was her son who put ideas into its head. Said it should share the same sty as the other swine."

"Oh my, I tell you, there is no piganity left in our sounders now. Next thing you know, it will demand being treated as equals!"

You Sow, You Reap

"Lord, I hope I don't live to see that day. I'm quite happy with this one, although I'm not sure about its tones. Might find someone darker next time, just for the diversity."

"Right, I'm off for my mud bath now. Chat with you later. Cheerio!"