You must miss her!

I bundle my smiles tender, forgotten bliss
Etched between my lids – I'm wondering
Who do you dandle when I'm gone,
Who do you deceive with love?
I have shaved for death – it is done.
I have swallowed the pain with cups
Upon cups of tears; you'd know this
If your hands were on the door,
If your heart had the fire that heaven
Was made from but you know nothing.
So let's remember her with silence,
Her bow lipped smile our only present.
I will not drown you here but further
Where the rapids of your nonchalance
Show teeth of rocks, you must fall
On your knees, weep, your eyes bleak –
You must miss her curved fingers
Holding your thumb with questions,
Her eyes lit with your drunken smile;
You must, you must.
The rains gossip on the window sill,
Stoppered dribbles of barely held words.
I listen to lovers quarrel & music
Almost sweet like bodies kept too long.
You step in time through the thin walls,
Your grief almost satisfying but
She is river deep black & fast between us

You must miss her!

& you will ford to me, tell me
Why you left her at the shore,
Her locks tangled in the wet weeds;
You must, you must.