• Vol. 03
  • Chapter 04
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Yokeland’s Best

“Babe, I want the bacon to be more crisp next time.”

“Yes dear.”

“And not just crisp around the edges. I want the entire strip of bacon to be uniformly crispy.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, of course ...”

“And the orange juice had too much sugar. If you can’t find oranges sweet enough to juice as is, added sugar isn’t the answer. Next time consider a different fruit. Grapefruits.”


“Pineapple maybe. You can add sugar to grapefruit or pineapple juice. But orange juice should be pure.”

“Then that’s what I’ll ...”

“Please, stop interrupting me. The pancakes were too dense. Did you beat the egg whites like I suggested?”

“I did, yes.”

“Well then you didn’t use enough baking powder.”

“I see.”

“Or the baking powder was past expiration. When was the last time you bought new baking powder?”

“Well, I’m not sure. I guess I’d have to ...”

“Just throw out the baking powder and pick up some fresh baking powder.”


Yokeland’s Best

“That’s ... yes, dear, I’ll ...”

“Or, even better, just get baking soda and cream of tartar. That’s all baking powder is, essentially. Make sure they’re both fresh.”

“ ... “

“Honey, one more thing.”

“Yes, dear?”

“I know I told you last time to look for Yokeland’s Best eggs ...”

“I did. I got them. I went to three grocery stores to find them. Yokeland’s ...”

“Please, I’m not finished. I know I told you to buy Yokeland’s Best eggs, but I found them lacking in ... maybe it was yoke consistency. Maybe it was unreasonable to expect too much from an egg. But I wasn’t pleased. So after you’re done with the dozen, I want you to go back to buying Eggville Double A’s. Understood?”

“Of course. I’m sorry about ...”

“It’s nothing to apologize for. If anything, Yokeland should apologize. But that’s not important.”

“ ... “

“Sweetheart, what’s for lunch?”

“I have pot pies in the oven.”

“No ... I think we’ll have cold cuts. Can you run out to the deli?”


Yokeland’s Best

“I can. Just let me turn off ...”

“One pound of Boar’s Head turkey, half a pound of Boar’s Head hard salami, and half a pound Adam’s Reserve yellow cheddar. Got it?”

“Yes dear.”

“And rye bread. Fleischman’s rye bread.”

“ ... “

“And dark brown mustard.”