Yard Sale for the Dead Guy’s Things

I’m sitting on my lofty white cloud with my annoying halo glowing above my head.

I can’t believe I’ve been dead for only two months and my wife is having a yard sale. The last few months before my untimely heart attack, we weren’t getting along, but this! It’s all my things!

“How much is this blue-striped tie?”

“Oh, that’s a bargain, Miss. Ten-dollars and the color goes with everything,” says my wife.

She’s selling my favorite tie! Ooh, if I was still alive, I’d sell her favorite painting right now. That ugly purple flower that hangs in the entrance hallway for all to see. What was she thinking? I wish I could jump down from this cloud and give her a piece of my mind.

“This is a beautiful watch. I love the black leather band and it’s practically brand new. The man this belonged to kept really good care of his things. How much do you want for it?” asks the same woman who bought the tie.

“This is an even greater bargain. It’s from Japan and it’s a genuine leather band. Not those synthetic ones. This cost five-hundred-dollars, but I’m selling it for one-hundred-dollars.”

“I’ll take it,” says the woman.

My watch! That witch! That’s it, I’m taking my chances and going down.

I leap off my cloud into mid-air, spread my arms and fly.

I can’t wait until I get down there. She and everyone at the yard sale will be so spooked, that’ll be the end of it. Oh, no!

Yard Sale for the Dead Guy’s Things

I realize that the reason I’m not supposed to leave my cloud is because I don’t have wings yet. I keep falling and falling and finally hit the ground.

It’s a good thing I’m dead already.