• Vol. 04
  • Chapter 10

X Factor Town

In this town are the b-side footballer wives
The accountant clerks,
That live to work
And thrive from 9-5

Their dreams are dead but their houses made,
So they put on their dressing gowns.
Sink into a settee abyss,
Here in X Factor town.

In this town the girls faces are glued to the TV screens.
Addicted to soap operas,
They’re the ultimate fun stoppers,
They’re the real reem team.

They constantly bitch, so much they pull a stitch
Better have a lie down.
Sit back and watch the years stroll by,
Here in X Factor town.

Friday night rolls by and they are suddenly caked in fake tan.
It’s a cross between the Sugar Puff monster, and what comes out of a Fanta can.

Their dialects changed into something deranged,
They talk like they drive a black cab
Slur their words, shout something absurd
But still manage to order a kebab

They've drunk away their weekend, and it's only half 10
Monday comes, time for the re-runs and start the process again


X Factor Town

The boys are those gym monkeys that swing from bar to bar.
It’s all proteins and gains,
Their haircuts the same
With veins popping out of their arms

A permanent pout, the blue steel
His words come out but nothing’s real.

He hides behind his vodka coke and the muscles that he's got
But your smile stops,
When you’re in for the shock
That he’s packing a 1 inch cock.

So in this town the talk is as dull, and beige as the living room walls.
My ears combust,
The conversation is not enough
To keep me from withdrawal.

They fast forward TV but pause the future, and turn the arguments down.
They won’t let you claim
That they worship the fame
Here in X Factor town.
They ridicule the fools that parade around on stage
The TV garbage that makes them laugh
Boils my blood
It makes me rage!

The circus freaks that are on every week are known as the Saturday night clowns.
But the folks back home,
Watch clips of them on their phones,
And share them round X Factor Town.

They conform to the norm, they bah like sheep
So let’s hear it for them now.
For the boys and girls that rule the world
Known as X Factor town.