• Vol. 10
  • Chapter 09

Where to?

Where to luv?
Please can you take me somewhere lovely?
That’s a new one on me.  What sort of lovely?
I’ll know it when I see it.  Somewhere pretty.  And green if possible.
Not round here I can’t. And not in this weather neither.
I’m not bothered about the weather.  I’ve got my brolly and my shoes are stout enough.
Look, there’s really not much in the way of greenery around here.  Maybe you’d be better getting a train out of town somewhere.  
But I’ve just got off a train. It’s here I want to be. So what about, well, maybe a nice café?
We’ve got a Wimpy up the High Street if that’s any use?
Mmm, well, I was thinking more of afternoon tea. You know, proper tea, in a pot.  Tiny sandwiches, scones and jam.  That sort of thing.   Perhaps even with music.
Nah, you’d have to go to Harrogate for something like that.  Cost you a bomb.  I don’t go that far on me holidays.
Ah, yes, I understand.  So is there, er, a nice cemetery perhaps? You must have a cemetery.
Yeah, we got plenty of them if you like that sort of thing.  Anything in particular?
Oh dear.  Well, you see, I’ve brought my husband.  In my bag. He always talked about this place.  He came here once on holiday.  Just the once.  And never forgot it, I don't know why.  He always meant to bring me here, but somehow, you know, it didn’t happen. So I thought I’d bring him here now. Better late than never he’d’ve said.  And maybe, well, just leave him here. Silly really.
Doesn’t sound silly to me. And I reckon a cemetery’d be better than a tea room if you know what I mean.  The municipal cemetery’s a bit well,


Where to?

municipal but there’s a nice churchyard just across the ring road. All old gravestones and stuff. How about that?  Only ten minutes, not more than a tenner.  Then I could wait and bring you back if you like, though that’d cost a bit more of course.  Or you could get the 95 back to the station.  What d’you think?
Oh, that’s, that’s oh ….
Hop in then.  Put the old man on the back seat.  Careful.