In my weakness

I.
It is apparent, the breath you send after me
marked like morning dew, pearly like sweat
it comes off you without second thoughts
I can tell it is your only weapon, you are the first and the last man
standing
Weakness isn't your strongest feature, not one you'd admit to
don't hide it, it is sweet- you grow on me,
despite time weaving its claws into the folds of your face
I know you since birth
You will never admit you care for me,
You watch me, I feel it
the gaze that lands on my shoulders, yours unedited.

II.
I don't know if it is boredom or if it is your word
Be
your first, that becomes me
the human out of the details, add water
deduct salty tears, but raise enough space
for other body parts to grow like shrubs
save space for figures of speech
to line letters and create scenes that look
like the beginning, the middle and the end
of a long series of chapters, heading nowhere.

In my weakness

III.

Is that a bruise you ask?
is this a scar, tell me. You demand answers
to shapes I don't even notice myself
because I cannot look at my shoulder blades
when you can.

IV.
There's a voice in my head that repeats
what someone once told me:
I come from an ape, this ape was a fish
that was a cell at the bottom of the ocean
I might be fishy at times, but I am not hairy
nor senseless or am I?

cool me down like only you know, take off the masks I wear for my moments of weakness
cool me down, don't use spring water
use the sea
the tug of ebb and flow, the coarse salt and foam
For into me is all you know of life and a breath unhinged,
hanging by some thread cotton soft like the beard you developed
while you waited for me to mature, nine-months,
ninety-nine years to perfect
like pottery in the belly of a volcano
you wait, and I disappoint. I won't save you from losing the bits inside,
I won't tell you not to touch my apples
I will save you from counting more sheep and naming names for the animals
what's behind that voice that calls me an ape?

mistaken
he is
the one who says I am not born out of your left heart rib.