Through the Purple Portals of My Mind

As I travel through
the purple portals of my mind
searching for the truth
and trying to connect to my ancestors
to give them some hope
that the future is making sense
I find that I don’t have much to offer
because although my hands may be softer
I don’t have the wisdom of their day
I’ve allowed the patterns of modernity
to lead me astray
If I only had read that letter
If I only had finished coloring the picture
and solved that anagram
I would have been a more colorful child
not lost in an image trace
tinged with disgrace and standing
on a mismatched plane
but today I know my bane
that I can’t go back in time
to question decisions that affect life
today is just for today
and while I wish I could travel through that portal
to connect with another version of myself
I have to reserve daily living for the daily life
because despite the decision or distraction
I can’t go back
I just have to accept that
the purple portals will have to
swallow my unsettling dreams