• Vol. 10
  • Chapter 04
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Therapy Session 1: Family Trauma

“You know, your primary relationships you had when you were a child repeat when you’re an adult. You seek out the same relationships, same patterns, same roles. Even if you don’t want to. Even if you think you’ve chosen a partner that’s nothing like your dad or your mom, you actually have.

“You seek the familiar, even if you don’t like it. So, you end up surrounding yourself with the same types of people, so you can play the same role. Even if you didn’t like that role as a child. Even if you sit here now and say, ‘but I know I don’t like that role.’

“You’ve chosen it again.

“Do you see that?

“Do you see how you’re repeating the same patterns?

“And I don’t mean you just you, I mean a collective you. We all do it. All of us. So, I’m not being critical. I’m just being honest.

"And once you realize this then you can identify the pattern and try to break it and try to see why you’ve picked people who on some level are just like the people you grew up with, who formed your identity.

“We all think we’ve gotten so far from our roots, from our upbringing, but it’s always there with us.

"And you can get out of the patterns, you can. When you realize they’re there at first it may feel suffocating. But knowing them, seeing them, that’s where the work starts. Then you can start to breathe free and see clearly.”