• Vol. 05
  • Chapter 03
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The Vaporization of Glassy Glenda Glow Lips

Today the cosmetics industry mourns the loss of Glassy Glenda Glow Lips. Her kaleidoscopic palette of primary pigments has painted the glossy pages of domestic and international fashion magazines for years. Italian designer Grigio Ganzo attempted to take his life when he heard the news, and rests under surveillance at the Clinique Grangettes in Geneva. Beau Pitman, Glenda’s ex, fled the set of his latest blockbuster, purportedly financed by Glassy Glenda Glow Lips herself, The Blue Heron Returns, and refuses to comment.

In an interview last year, after their divorce, Pitman remarked that Glenda had become obsessed with ultramarine. In their bedroom, she had a floor-to-ceiling aquarium installed and stocked with all manner of blue fish and corral. He didn’t mind the blue Mercedes or the Cerulean custom-painted Lamborghini Reventón, nor did he remark on the blue-toned wall hangings and azure ceilings throughout the pavilion. The Oxford blue suits Glenda insisted he wear offset the twinkle of his own Paul Newman eyes. However, when he prepared to bathe and found a Blue Siamese Fighting Fish swimming up the channel between his thighs, he had had enough of blue and Glenda, too.

Even now, Glenda Glow Lips’ fans congregate outside the gates of the fashion model’s property, Blue Heaven Pavilion. In search of that perfect hue of sapphire for her stunning Anime eyelids, she eschewed teal, steel, ice, ocean deep and midnight blue. Powder and baby blue made her yawn, royal blue’s promises left her cold, iridescent heart of iris was just too Elizabeth Taylor and periwinkle made her sneeze. Ever in search of bolder and brighter blues, and richer tints, Glenda Glow Lips agreed to undergo a cutting-edge experiment—a complete chemical immersion in a cloud of explosive cobalt blue pigment.


The Vaporization of Glassy Glenda Glow Lips

Witnesses recount that Glassy Glenda winked, joked and signed autographs while she posed for photos moments before she entered the tubular receptacle and accepted the nozzle of the turbo charged cloud machine, which mixes compressed air with a foaming agent infused with blue dye. Within seconds of contact, the vapor adheres to all surfaces including human skin and hair.

It was during this treatment that a Palatinate blue cotton-candy cloud formed within the sealed compartment, engulfing Glassy Glenda Glow Lips. Unfortunately, sixty seconds later, when the blue smoke was vacuumed from the chamber and fresh air pumped in, the entrepreneurs could find no sign of Glassy Glenda. Not even a glimmer of her famous electric indigo lips remained.