• Vol. 06
  • Chapter 03
Image by

The Real Me

After 40 years of excessive alcoholic imbibition, Drunk Me still has extraordinary powers of self-delusion.
"I'll just finish off this bottle. It'll be fine."
"No, I definitely won't be hungover in the morning, and if I am, then I can deal with it. Easy peasy!"
"If I feel this happy NOW, I can stay this happy if I just carry on drinking!"
"I only drink at weekends."
"It's just a cheeky Thursday drink."
"It's just a cheeky Wednesday drink."
"It's just a cheeky Monday drink."
"It's just a cheeky Tuesday drink."
"I can stop any time I like."

Sober Me is also practised in the art of self-deception.
"I am NEVER drinking again."
"I didn't do anything bad, did I?"
"If I can't remember it, then it didn't happen."
"I don't NEED a drink, I just enjoy one."
"I've had a terrible day. I deserve a drink."
"Oh okay, just the one."
"I can stop any time I like."

Drunk Me and Sober Me are liars. Dirty dishonest deceitful pieces of me that live between my ears, mangling decisions made of good and true intentions. Who on earth do they think they are?! They're not the Real Me.

Are they?

They're both liars.

1