The First One

Wesna emerged from the transporter. It was still dark and what he could identify of his surroundings seemed quite grim. A barren gravel desert. Though the place where the trials would take place was kept secret to prevent the run of curious tourists, he hadn’t expected anything different. To keep the losses as low as possible in case anything went wrong, a planet that mainly consisted of useless matter has been chosen for the tests. Another 24 volunteers followed him out of the vehicle. Some of them shook his hands and some of them glanced at him with a hint of envy in their eyes.

Good luck, man.
Thanks, guys! Good luck to you too.

The other volunteers would be transported to the other side of the planet, as far from the trial area as possible. Many more volunteered but they still were on their home planets, going through the preparation procedures and waiting for their turn. One-thousand trials were planned in the first round. The second round would be test runs with two people. The next step depended on the results of that round. Of course, there had been experiments with animals before. The whole project spanned over 100 years already. If you were precise, it was as old as humanity. Wesna smiled; he was the first one to do it! He wondered how anyone else would feel in his place. Would they be more solemn or reverent? He was just slightly thrilled – finally something resembling an adventure was going to happen. A voice tore him out of his reverie:

Are you Wesna Armstrong, the First To Go?
Indeed.
Welcome to Planet G2345. We are very pleased to meet you.
My pleasure.

The First One

I’m a member of the training team. I will take you to the camp. Please follow me.
I am happy to do so.

The transporter rose towards dawn. Wesna looked out of the small window that was covered with dust.

How long until landing?
Two hours, Mr. Armstrong. But you will see the capsule long before.

They were flying only ten meters above the ground. There was no reason to fly higher in a desert. In the sun, the silhouette of a gigantic, strange looking mountain rose before them. Its outline was too symmetrical and too smooth. As they approached, Wesna realized it was the capsule. He couldn’t prevent his jaw from dropping but quickly took back control over it and whistled.

Holy shit! What a great big baby!
Well, there are vast amounts of energy at play…
I can’t believe anything resembling a giant cock will teleport me to anywhere.
I beg your pardon, Mr. Armstrong. Have some respect.
Oh, I do have respect. I’m entering the damn thing and letting you guys blow me into pieces!

They didn’t talk for the rest of the flight, just watched the massive belly of the space transmitter expand before them while its top disappeared from their view.