• Vol. 07
  • Chapter 06

The Fairy Godmother Searches For Substitutes

I wasn’t expecting to find hand sanitiser in the shops
the day before the lockdown, but pumpkins,
what good were pumpkins in a plague?

I searched for something else gourd-like,
considered celeriac but was put off by the tendrils
and eventually settled on a watermelon.

It had a good stout outer skin and the inside
should easily accommodate one slim
perspective princess dressed for a ball

I always have a supply of gowns ready to go,
I buy second-hand wedding dresses in bulk
because this story just keeps going and going.

I left triangles of watermelon around to entice
the mice and rats for the horses and coachmen.
I have considered going motorised

but there’s no romance to a car, not to mention
the environmental concerns. I always make sure
the slippers are made of recycled glass.

No sooner had they gone when the witch arrived,
she couldn’t find flour for her gingerbread house,
she was desperate, hadn’t worked in months.

Between the dangers of sugar and snowflake children
her story doesn’t get told much these days
and now everyone’s been told to stay at home.


The Fairy Godmother Searches For Substitutes

Her head was down, following the carriage tracks
on the watermelon triangles. "That's it," she beamed,
"a watermelon house for the modern healthy-eating child!"