• Vol. 10
  • Chapter 03

Spurring Things On

Well, that’s a fine pickle to get into! Tipped up on the kitchen floor on New Year’s Day.

I only popped over for a lark. I thought they’d be amused. A fun ice-breaker to start the new year and maybe make amends for being such a prat last year. I didn’t know they had new strict rules about not glorifying war, or that it extended to not encouraging interest in armour and armaments. It’s not like I took a tank round. Blimey! Uncle Red in the doghouse again.

Since they had the niblings, it seems my brother and sister-in-law have had total sense of humour bypasses. They used to be such a laugh. We all used to hang out and play together since – well forever. Things changed a bit once those two coupled up, but we were still mates.

I thought Sylv mis-understanding the Pictionary drawing was hilarious, but apparently that was just me. I hadn’t seen it as breasts in a bathtub. And anyway I expect both the little darlings had seen her breasts in and out of the bath often enough to not think it odd. Apparently breast feeding during Christmas lunch is fine, but drawing them not? And it was all in their minds! I’d drawn Juliet behind a balcony with ornate scrollwork – a Juliet balcony! Last time I opt for the high-brow.

So, I thought arriving in armour to make a courtly apology seemed appropriate. It’s not like the new floors they are always banging on about aren’t made of slate, ‘designed for living’ as they are always spouting to all and sundry. You’d have thought a little spur scratch wouldn’t cause any harm. And if she hadn’t shooed me out with the broomstick I wouldn’t have tumbled in the first place. Darned heavy these suits. Well, if it hadn’t been for the precious expression and giggling meltdown from young Annie I’d give up totally.

It's not easy losing your life-long best mates only to gain the best new ones


Spurring Things On

made by them, albeit with a 20 year age gap. But I intend to stick around, encourage mischief and ensure they get to have adventures despite their parents. That’s what uncles are for, after all.