spring

It feels likes a memory
as you close your eyes and inhale out -
                                   and exhale in
the debris of a cloudy day

With each breath, your vision changes
it's like you're back there
not you
not yourself
not the person you are now as you know it
but the child
her body pressed against you
restraints of fear nullified as curiosity courses into the hands that hold onto yours in anticipation
peeking from the protection of a veil
there's a safety in familiarity
and she sees everything but nothing at all

because the crows are gathering
laying low
speaking through stares
their feathers bristled between blades of grass
grass that skims the spaces between your fingertips
the past overlapping with the present
and now, now as you revisit a moment
before your world changed
when storm clouds burst into rain
and wind carries birds into flight

and that fear

spring

that fear that swelled in your palms
that served as the leash to your excitement

suddenly warms you
as you open your eyes
inhaling in, exhaling out

as the woman you've become
notices the way the birds are uneasy
butterflies testing the ground as they land at your feet
the sky growling, warning you to go, to leave, to listen before the call

and you realise
that you are still that little girl
still holding the hand of fear as your protection

but you are also the hand that will lead her to new pastures
a world beyond the pleasantries of the past.