SOMETHING GNAWING AWAY

At last. Face to face. After all the pussy-footing around. You’re much bigger than I expected. A bloody challenge if I’m honest. I have been aware of you for some time, creeping up. Insidious. At first there were just hints. Bits you left for me to find half hidden in dark corners, on days when I had nothing better to think on. You liked to tease my nerves when they were already well frayed. Serves me right really.

Seek and thou shalt find.

Isn’t that a truism of sorts? At the start of all this mess, when you first made your presence known, it was an annoyance. Nothing more. How could I know you weren’t just a figment of my imagination? Light playing tricks among the shadows. You were persistent. Your appearances became more frequent, though you never allowed me a proper sighting. But the intrusion came to dominate my thinking, like a haunting. Ultimately you had me in tears. That’s when I sought professional help. I was told, ‘Be patient.’

Rome wasn’t built in a day, was it?

These things take application. I worked hard, and was assured, that, in your own time, you would make yourself known. You caused me a lot of trouble. Now here you are. Bigger than I expected. But I’m not scared. Not anymore. If I can make you appear, then I can make you disappear. Now I have full measure. You will not get the better of me. To conquer one’s fear, one must conjure it. Look it in the eye. When push comes to shove, am I man? Or am I mouse?