RING REFLECTIONS OF AN OLDER WOMAN

I reflect. That's what you can do when you're above the water. And if you look down you see yourself as you really are, as others see you. I twirl, pirouette and spin, deftly handling and managing all of the rings, keeping them spinning, supporting, thinking that I can cope. I hold the rings because all revolves around me.

I could manage everything much better when I was younger. It isn't easy now. My father always told me that anything worth doing isn't easy. So I remember that and accept all that is before me, no complaining. What would be the point anyway?

Nobody would listen or wish to hear. They have their own rings to manage. So many things to think about, so many people to please, so many to keep happy.

I stand on the very edge of terra firma. If I make mistakes I will fall. Maybe there will be others to push me over. And when that happens I shall struggle, trying to return to land, but not knowing how, floundering as I drown, being submerged beneath the waters.

And now my arms tire. I stretch to keep all in place and the stretching becomes demanding, laborious. My arms begin to drop, my shoulders ache with effort and I know that soon I won't be able to continue as I have. The ground begins to shift beneath me, things change, I drop one of the rings and it falls into the water. For a while it floats but then, ever so slowly, it starts to sink. I try to reach out to it, to bring it back towards me, to grasp it again but it is disappearing, the waters lapping over it, pushing it down, out of sight, away from me and my grasp.

RING REFLECTIONS OF AN OLDER WOMAN

A new colour seeps into me – frustration, hopelessness as I look down towards the water to see that my once rich red vibrancy has changed to a dull, lifeless grey as I fight against the inevitable conclusion. Soon the water of Time will consume me as it does everything. I am ready to sink into its embrace now.