Part 3

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[124 seconds of silence]
-hypnotic trance. Now, we will begin.

Welcome to Part 3 of the Finnis-Blackburn Anxiety Management Guide: Tearing Down the Walls Between You and Sanity. In Part 1, we talked about why anxiety has chosen you, and why it makes you different to everyone else. In Part 2, we learned about how to handle panic attacks and avoid drawing attention to them. Now, in Part 3, we will ask the question ‘What causes this anxiety?”

Everybody has triggers that cause them to suffer stress. Some people struggle with work, or other people, or their loveless spouse, or their spouse’s children. In an ideal world, all triggers for anxiety should be eliminated as soon as possible, but it is understood that this is often not possible, or desired. You cannot remove everybody who resists you, or looks at you without a smile, or corrects your pronunciation of the names of coffees.

Part 3

Let’s talk about examples. Let’s say you have a mother. She is constantly bothering you, critiquing your life choices, and the way you spend your time. You are an adult, but you live with her because her generation ruined the economy. She is yelling at you – yelling in your ear – about these tapes on your desk, and how you just sit there, staring into space with your headphones in, surrounded by your tapes.

It’s just a twelve-part self-help series, mum. To help me cope.

She sneers. How do you even know what order they’re in? All the tapes are blank, there’s nothing on them. You just take one out of your Walkman, put the next one in. You don’t even look.

Your mother is a trigger. Triggers are the reason for your anxiety. You cannot live like this. Your child cannot live like this, Laura. Don’t listen to your mother. She’s screaming at you, right now. Don’t listen to her. Return to your comfort centre. Remember that you belong with us.

I need to condition you. I need to implant a suggestion into your anxious, badly-wired mind. You must not listen to your mother. She doubts you, and the Management Guide. Do you doubt the Management Guide? Has a drip of her poison been released into your ear?

You must not have any doubts about what we are achieving here. To prevent this – to protect you – you must hurt yourself. If you feel any doubt, then the next time you deliberately touch anything – anything at all – you will feel pain. Your brain will send an electrical signal which will cause you a moment of excruciating agony. It will be brief, but firm. During this moment, you will not see the world in the same way. In a sane way. To avoid this pain, this crippling pain, simply remove all doubt. Believe in the Management Guide, and you shall walk away.

Now, turn over to side B.

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