• Vol. 06
  • Chapter 01
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Mother is a Magpie

James recognised the old box on the kitchen table. It had originally housed a Peter Rabbit china cup and plate he’d received when he was baptised. On the lid lay a bundle of folded sheets of cream Basildon Bond addressed to him.

Darling James,
I thought you might pop in. This collection belongs to you. I saved everything I’ve ever found in the pockets of your trousers. Most have been through the washing machine, some have been through the dryer. I’ve listed them in order. I think you’ll find everything is there, though I’ll confess, there were more coins. I thought it might be a good time to let you have them back. I’ll be back on the 21st – there’s pizza in the freezer. Love Mum x

a teething biscuit,
a Hot Wheels car,
a wet wipe,
a raisin,
a green balloon,
a halloween sweet in its wrapper,
a thousand tiny pieces of tissue,
a Lego man head,
a 2 pence coin,
screws (flat heads and cross heads),
an acorn,
a folded drawing of a scull,
an eraser,
copper wire,
a milk tooth in a plastic orange mouse,


Mother is a Magpie

a padlock key,
a hazelnut,
a block of staples,
stones and shells,
a tightly folded five pound note,
a bus ticket,
a stub of a pencil,
a chewed ink cartridge,
a receipt for a phone case,
chewed gum,
a smoothed piece of green glass,
a folded test paper
a plectrum,
half a silver locket,
cigarette papers,
a plastic Monopoly top hat,
a Coke bottle top,
a nitrous oxide bulb,
a Snickers wrapper,
a foiled condom,
a ball of red tissue paper,
a Heineken cap,
2 spent matches,
a 2 Euro coin,
a pair of lace knickers,
a crisp packet,
a token for the car wash at the garage,
the jack of clubs,

Mother is a Magpie

a champagne cork,
ripped squares of a photo,
a wedding ring.