- Vol. 02
- Chapter 11
Image by Vestry House Museum
Journey through timeMy eccentric life has been nothing but the trouble for anyone around me. How could I let you to be part of such a thing? When you landed in my life that’s where all the turbulence was introduced into my life. I started questioning every inch of myself. The purpose of being here. When I am not clear about what I am doing and why am I doing, how could I let you to be part of it?
I just wanted a perfect life for you. Being part of my life meant pain, so I decided we would be better off being apart. In hindsight, its all good. You have found your perfect partner while I am on my journey and no one is hurt. You deserved someone better than me, who could love you and give you all the pleasures of this world.
I couldn’t bear the thought of you being sad when I go for my never returning journey. I already knew what most of my life would be. I was a very complicated person while you were just as simple as smiling baby spreading joy all around. How could I take that away from you? You were smart & funny with Monalisa smile. I couldn’t think of ruining it because of me. Sometimes I may have felt weak and tried contacting you but then afterall I am also a simple human being.
Now we live worlds apart and you settled in states, I walk my own path to find something I don’t know. I have only lived my dreams and here I am still living same visions. I don’t know whether what I see in my dream is true or just the manifestation of my creative imagination. I have not figured it out yet but one day I will.
On the day you were leaving for home, we were sitting in the restaurant. Earlier that night I had a dream about us never meeting again and just the thought of it had put me in so much misery & pain. The paid I couldn’t share with anyone. Our last journey together to your town has been the best memory in my life.
Journey through timeWhenever I feel alone I just remember those moments where I was holding you in the arms just for few moments. I wished that journey never to end because I knew with this journey everything will change.
Lately my memory has started fading away and I have been seeing things I can’t explain. Sometimes I can’t remember basic things like how to spell words or add two numbers or even read but at night I write most complex philosophies of life. This may never reach to you as it is never meant to be sent to you. If you come across this, I know you will know who the writer is. The long walk has just begun for me and my shadow will be my only company.