IT’S ENOUGH TO MAKE A CAT LAUGH

Hey, folks, look at me in my new home. A paw-step up from living on the streets.

My purr-son is an eccentric old lady with a home full of felines. They don’t need feeding, tickling, or tidbits and they don’t make her laugh by rolling over and acting purr-itty like yours truly. No … there are fur-otos and paintings of pussies everywhere.

I’ve explored cupboards and shelves and found a cosy purr-lace behind the com-purr-yut-ter  where it’s warm and there’s chewable paper. My purr-son thinks I might purr-haps need glasses and she looked in my ears. Not sure what she expected to find. She misunderstands my haughty attitude when I don’t appear to see treats when they’re under my nose, or respond when she calls me … unless I hear a tin being opened.

I wasn’t impressed when she wanted me to play with a string of beads – purr-lease, I’m not a kitten - but I tried to oblige by rolling around with a ball on a string attached to a ropey pole - only a couple of times though. I think she wants me to claw it instead of the settee. Ha! My purr-son has joined the elite club of cat lovers who pay outlandish purr-rices for feline purr-a-fur-nalia! It’s more fun playing with balls of dusty fluff from under the furniture or swiping pencils off her desk.

She made me a mouse and filled it with catnip. It provided a few minutes of distraction, but I love watching the kerfuffle when visitors see it on the floor. And talking of catnip, eBay sent us expensive Japanese Silverline catnip. I wouldn’t recommend it. My purr-son said she may have to roll in it herself or sell it on a street corner!

IT’S ENOUGH TO MAKE A CAT LAUGH

Oh, yesterday her male kitten visited, and I enjoyed a LONG cuddle. His ma was miffed because I’ve been playing hard to get … until she learns who’s the top cat. I followed him around and sat on the kitchen worktop watching him cook, but almost lost one of my lives when he pulled a huge metal thing from a high shelf, and it slipped, missing me by a whisker! He used words unfamiliar to me that upset his ma, and I spent the afternoon in my hidey hole under the bed. I forgave him later. Wanted more cuddles.

My purr-son is responding well to training and reaching the levels of purr-fection I expect. Let’s be honest. Her kind is here for the purr-leasure of felines, to keep house and feed us. Need I say more?

I’m in cat heaven. Purr-rrrr.