- Vol. 10
- Chapter 08
First things first – no answers without payment. That's three Temptations crunchy cat treats up front.
That portrait on the right – that's me. My human is obsessed. It's destined for the shrine room. The other one? My predecessor, Ginger Jim. The human found a firm to do them when they were using the little box with the lights and the swooshy thing I like to chase, when I'm not batting at the moving lines on its bright face. The human doesn't like it when I stand on the squishy pad of small tiles and bat the box's face. They lift me out of the way and make those funny noises they're forever babbling. I normally just pad off, or wash an ear, or do something else important in my universe while completely ignoring them.
Back to the weird portrait. It, and the inferior one of Ginger Jim, will go into the room with all the icons. I like that room, it shows proper respect. The human has many holy items there. Sometimes I knock some of them off the bookshelves, but only when the human is there to see. I once knocked five small black onyx cat statues one by one off the fourth shelf. They made a great noise when they hit the wooden floor. Why? Because they were there. And I wanted to see what the human would do. As it turns out, they just watched me slowly knock each one off in turn. And then they made this big sigh-breath noise. After that they set up a contraption pointing at it, the one that captures my image, so I just completely ignore the shelf and that whole part of the room now.
There was that other thing, best forgotten. The stuffed effigy of a previous deity. No, not poxy Ginger Jim, someone more elegant, even if it smelled all wrong. It got far too much reverence and respect from the human so it had to go.
I shredded its coat with my beautiful claws and all this straw and sawdust fell out. The human made a lot of noise when they found it and some water came out of their eyes.
The portraits will go in there. There was another new arrival last week. Just a small black wooden plinth. It had a little metal square on it with the funny squiggles they use. Funny how they plonked me on it and seemed pleased. Of course I didn't stay put - there was a new small cardboard box to explore, exactly the right size for me to climb into, just as my whiskers predicted. I was settling in when the human tried to put a glass dome over it. Fortunately I moved too quickly and got away. However the human has a funny look in their eye and a strange smell so I'm avoiding them for now. Another treat? Don't mind if I do – hey, is this laced with something?