• Vol. 10
  • Chapter 09

I wouldn’t start from here

Where did I get the Mac?  Brannigans of course.  Aye, they only have the best.  How to get there?  Well, I wouldn't start from here.  Once you're in The Diamond you can only head out of town to the west.  You'll need to follow the road over there towards Rostrevor and then swing right round the big roundabout.  Yes, all the way back round on yourself, and into the one-way system again.  Yes, it's a terrible pain in the neck, so it is.  And you'll need to change lane just as you come off the big roundabout to be able to head for New Street.  Watch out for the buses, they come flying along that stretch and they'll cut across the front of you, so they will, in a trice.  

I don't know what they were thinking of, the planners.  Chopping and changing all the time.  You can see there's some sort of shenanigans going on here too, and the cars were already having to double park just so a body can run into the shops and pick up a few messages.  Aye, that's what I'm doing.  I was just about to pick up a few bits and pieces for tea for himself.  He's doing much better now he's finally started using the walking stick.  Sure, pride is a terrible thing in a man.  I've already been to the bank and the post office and got a copy of the weekly Newsletter.  That wee man McMullen in the paper shop could talk the hind leg off a donkey, so he could.  

The shopping bag?  It was a Christmas present from my niece Imelda, the one up at Queen's University.  She's doing well, so she says, but my sister is powerful worried about her, up there on her own in the city.  Ach, not on her own, really, but you know when they leave home it's a quare wrench, especially for the mammy.  Even if Imelda's home every weekend.


I wouldn’t start from here

Yes, the Mac's grand, so it is, nice and bright but I can't find shoes to go with it.  I'll take a run up to Armagh at the weekend, see if that new big shop has anything.  No, I won't be driving, I'll be on the bus.  Sure, you take your life in your hands on the roads these days.  But you've got this great big car here, new is it?  With all this rain it must be nice and dry and cosy in there.  Ach no, I won't take a lift, I've got to get these wee bits and pieces from the Spar.

Anyway, this isn't getting my messages done and you've got to go back round the one-way again, and it's nearly school chucking out time, so I'll let you go.  Mind you get in the right lane off the roundabout otherwise you'll end up here in The Diamond again.  Still, anyone round here will give you directions.  It's quare craic, eh?