• Vol. 05
  • Chapter 10
Image by

I want you to love me so hard

My counsellor says I have a high level of self-awareness for a narcissist - which is nice. She has given me homework - ask for forgiveness she says, from the women you have lied to, manipulated or hurt and when you meet a woman you like, try to be honest about your feelings. She says being honest is the same as being rich. Weirdo.

How does this slice of honesty sound?

If I want you I will drip charm, bomb you with love. You will think you have met the love of your life, your soul mate - you haven’t. As we go on I will be casually cruel. I will seek to control your money, who you see, the food you eat. I will take your self-esteem and eat it like a snake eats a pigeon. I will be jealous of the attention you give your dying mother. I’m an attractive proposition, no?

I want you to love me so hard I could put my head through a plate glass window. But right now I am an injury of red roads, always headed back to the same empty bullseye.