• Vol. 02
  • Chapter 08
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I haven't seen graph paper since I was sixteen and taking Maths exams. O-levels, they were called, if you remember, and even if you don't, I'm reminding you.

In the years between then and now I have become a different person and yet I am still me. Measuring the years in time, yes, I could say "Twenty years ago, or twenty-three". But with a ruler? That's hard work, that's an impossible task, nobody can do it. And, let's face it: who wants to admit to having lived that long?

Instead, I've made a graph using my highlighters. Purple and yellow lines for the ups and downs of my life, and white for tippexing out everything I wish had never happened.Together they make a kind of pattern, don't you think? They look pretty. I've fooled you.

In 1985 the graph paper I used was green. It seems pointless to add "I was young" because you can clearly see that there are thousands of little squares which make up the page.