Elmo’s Eyes

I have to run to get to my car. I'm carrying a super-soaker that stops Elmo long enough for me to make it to the passenger door and then I have to climb over the console and into the driver's seat.

I'm going to practice driving in reverse after work but it'll be problematic because my driveway's so long and I'll never be able to keep the car straight all the way unless I go real slow and then Elmo will be waiting for me when I get to my house.

I never should have gotten in that feud with my neighbor. I've apologized several times for complaining about Elmo's barking but his solution was to leave the shepherd untied so he doesn't bark anymore but roams over to my property and snarls at me. It's as if he knew I ratted him out to the local police department but since my neighbor's on the force no one will do anything.

I don't know how he's getting up on my roof but I think he's jumping onto my car and from there onto the roof of my ranch house which doesn't have much of a pitch but it does have a small skylight in the bathroom over the tub. That's one of the reasons I bought the house--I love lying there soaking and taking in the stars at night or the clouds during the day.

Now I see only Elmo and he sees me. It's as if my neighbor is watching me through Elmo's eyes.

This has been going on for a few days but a super-soaker won't work in this situation so I'm afraid I'll have to call a handyman to come over and cover the skylight in the cathedral ceiling.

But then what? What'll be next from Elmo?