Cursed Cows

Egan awoke and shook his head. It felt heavy and swung oddly. His vision was blurred and he blinked slowly. The sunlight reflecting off the lake before him nearly blinded him. He winced and stumbled around to face a forest, one from which he must have just come, but could not remember.

Egan closed his eyes, trying to remember last night. The last thing he could recall was a laughing face, beautifully lit by the light of the full moon as he stumbled out of the thumping music of the Nightshift Club. They kissed and it was wonderful.

Wonderful, until he was bumped, or bumped into someone. He wasn’t sure. Their kiss turned into clattering teeth and embarrassingly bumped foreheads. He’d looked up into the dark eyes of a plump woman, and told that ‘fat cow’ to ‘watch where she was going’. Then he had laughed and howled at the moon. Everything after that was fuzzy. He had a sense rather than a memory of great sex, laughter, and moonlight.

Why would he be fuzzy on the best parts of the night but clear on that last glimpse of her dark eyes glaring at him? He moved to frown, but his mouth felt dry and his tongue thick and heavy. With extra effort, he raised his heavy head to look up at the rising sun, then sneezed at its brightness. The sneeze shook his whole body, and he felt a long string of snot drip from his nostril.

He moved to wipe it away but nearly fell over as he lifted his hand. Then he disgusted himself as he felt his tongue instinctually move out and up to lick away the dripping trail. Egan looked down, at the grass and rocks and lichen below. Then he looked further down, a sense of dread filling his belly.

Cursed Cows

With horror he saw two hooves, then two legs covered in shaggy red fur. He stumbled back, the world spinning as his footing – or hoofing – fumbled and his eyes tried to focus. He spun around again to face the lake, and awkwardly lumbered towards it, willing each of his four limbs to move in some semblance of walking.

He felt the cold water chill his arms? Forelegs? As he sloshed into the lake. He looked down but could not see right before himself. He tilted his heavy large head to the right, and looked down into the settling water.

The imperfect mirror showed his more than imperfect form. He saw his own large dark eye widening at his reflection. He was a cow. A large cow with fiery red fur. Red Fur befitting his name Egan, and a cow for his sins. He shuddered and wanted to cry, but realized he didn’t know how, not in this form. So he lumbered his head down to lap at the water before him, and hope that he would wake from this dream.