Come on in the water’s fine

I know, I'm a pig and I'm swimming in the sea, but come on – blue sky, warm, soothing saltwater, so clear I can see my trotters paddling away like mad. I'm treading water mostly, not really going anywhere, but I'm a pig in dreamy blue water, not a pig in s**t. I'm still happy though.

I hope there are no sharks, I've heard the farmer talking about great white sharks eating people, no news on them ever eating pigs though, so I hope I'm okay.

I'm not terribly keen on the thought of getting my ears wet, I'm having to work really hard to keep them out of the water, but I'm doing okay so far, as long as there are no freak giant waves I should be absolutely fine.

I don't know why that woman keeps taking pictures of me. She's snapping away and going "ooh" and "awe, it's so cute". I am not cute! I'm a pig swimming in the sea, perfectly natural in these parts, that's what we do. I mean, why wouldn't you? The sky is blue, the sea is warm and clear and salty, it's perfect. Just as long as I don't get my ears wet...