• Vol. 09
  • Chapter 12

blast off or balance

identities. Perched on top of each other, distinct, similar, ugly. Precarious living, precarious jobs, the new class precariat. I am forming new memories and pathways in my brain writing this but they aren't.
They are plastic, artificial creations/constructs – hard identities that melt away in incinerating crises (so aren't we similar?).

names for me, double that for them: Girl With Red Hat, disney thing 1, disney thing 2, probably disney? thing 3. why girl, why red? Is this the new femininity? What about the me that doesn't feel particularly feminine (i am just me, just me) but all my experiences point to it (can never be anything else and would i want to?). How do you make your way in the world, balancing precious cargo oh girl with [the] red hat?

eyes not 1, ruined the pattern. And is it bad i've made it all about the i i i (here we go again) and my eyes and ayes and none of them are looking at me – evasive, avoidant, just like me. (I haven't responded to a text from last year.) Actually 7 eyes, another power number, another prime. Maybe that's why they can stay still, keep that balancing act going while i fell flat last year and am still crawling
< where is the red hat? >

3. Still lives are fun to create and photograph, I polaroided a whole pack of a fruit bowl but I don't think still lives means anything to anyone but you can overthink it, sure
2. We can only turn so much outwards before we have to look inwards (vice versa)


blast off or balance

2. Eyes unseeing, ceasing
I don't know if this is meant to stand alone or not like they do so I was shooting for a middle ground /like a coward/ but the eyes would not let me, even though they're not looking at me
(eyes unseeing)