• Vol. 09
  • Chapter 12


"How much for the wookie head?"
"Right. And the ET head?"
"How about I have them and the green alien one for two quid? Dollar, I mean."
"Three eyed alien is ten."
"Ten for the alien head."
"Eh? The others are only one, why is that then?"
"Three eyed alien head is real."
"I mean it's not got a TM so not Disney Store actually, but the ET is vintage, like, worth more, no?"
"Alien is ten dollars."
"Not joking, if you think it's worth a fiver,  
I'll gie you that cash, best offer, for the three, in your hand right now."
He wrapped them cursorily in newspaper and shoved them at Doug without a smile.
Doug wandered round the other stalls but it had started raining and most people were packing up. He checked his phone and legged it to the bus stop, his glasses steaming.
"Just made that," said the old lady sitting in the disabled seat, smiling.
"Yeah, lucky eh. Would have been soaked waiting for the next one."
"At the swap meet were you?"
"Oh aye, bit miserable though."



"Ah it's not as good as it used to be. I go to the one by the mall. Not so much mud to traipse through. Here on a vacation are you? You're a long way from, what's that accent? Scottish? We don't get many tourists this way. Find any treasures?"
"Just some sci fi stuff. Star Wars and that."
He rummaged in his bag and drew out the Chewbacca mug.
She cackled. "Put you right off your coffee, that one."
"And this." The ET head made her nod and smile, and he pulled out the Toy Story alien.  It seemed to cling to the bag and he brushed something sticky off his fingertips as he unwrapped it.
"Oh, an alien," she said. "You don't see so many of those nowadays."
"It's Disney," he said. "From the pizza restaurant."
"Ayuh." she nodded. "They liked pizza." Nodded. Nodded again.
He looked closer at the stickiness. It was somewhere between congealed blood and squid ink. The alien's three eyes gazed at him, glazed, unblinking.
"Used to be over ten dollars for a real one," said the old lady. She dinged the bell, the bus juddered into a puddle and she tottered to the outswung exit door. "This is my stop.  Enjoy the rest of your trip."