• Vol. 05
  • Chapter 01

Aye, he got away a long time ago; sure it was awful

Ah, sure wasn't it just like him to do that kind of thing. He'd always put a wee joke in where he could so he would, and sure people loved it so they did. After this one, he got called "Father Slanty O," for a wee while, until the thing with the wee boys.

Now I'm not one for all that telling tales and making up stories and jumping on bandy wagons and that, but sure everybody knew there was something going on so they did. Ach Father Slanty O was never involved in any of that at all, but that never stopped them saying he was, in the papers; and they even showed him on the six o'clock news coming out of the peelers thon time they had him in for questioning. The man was all right so he was, he'd never have done anything like that. So there you are. That's it. Everybody knows it happened all right, but he was never involved so he wasn't and a dime to a dollar he never even knew it was going on so he never. God's truth or I'm a Dutchman.

Thon man was a saint and looked after everybody so he did. All we like sheep so it is, but he was a shepherd took care of all of us. And then look what they done to him. Them's the ones should have been locked up so they are, them ones that done that. Cowards that's all, whoever they were. They picked on that wee God-fearing man just 'cos he was easy meat, and let go the others they shoulda bin after, hiding behind their robes and fancy houses and their big cars. It was awful so it was.

Still though, I'm sure he's up there now, bless him, looking down, and glad to be out of it, and membering the good things, the wee jokes and banter with everybody. Some of them sermons he used to preach were gas so they were. I mind one time he was talking about the wee lad didn't want to eat his carrots.


Aye, he got away a long time ago; sure it was awful

After a lot of hmming and hahhing his ma got him to eat some, and then told him to get on his knees and give thanks. The wee lad got down and shut is eyes and then he says, "Thank God I wasn't sick." Well he told that one and the whole place erupted. Not like being in church at all – people literally was laughing their heads off! Well, there was one or two stern faces, I suppose, but sure them oul biddies can go and jump in the Lagan so they can. I mind another one about fish too but I can't just member it now so I can't. It'll come back to me in a wee minute so it will. Be my jumble soon so it will.