* Attention *

Please stop throwing toothpicks in the urinal.
The crabs have learned to pole vault.
They are just as lonely as you this holiday season,
and are looking for a loving home.
They have feelings too, and they're getting desperate.
We've been finding these pamphlets all over the bar.
Apparently, this one's name is Phil.
Male, 2 1/2 weeks old.
Likes long hikes in the jungle.
Nondiscriminatory about blood type.
Likes to role play (as you can see he's dressed as Santa).
We've also been getting several complaints from our patrons,
and posted an attention letter in the women's room as well.
The crabs can also rope climb...
They're clever little buggers!
Be careful who you take home.
Be safe and Happy Holidays.

Thanks,
Management
The Golden Horn
A Friendly Place