- Vol. 02
- Chapter 01
Image by Rupert Jessop
A_ or N_To break through with indifference was what he sought after; what consumed him. He wanted his attempt to go forward with carelessness, but he knew he was already implicated in being there. Were all puzzles just a part of bigger puzzles? Slowly the dust continued to drift in the air, still hanging in the lack of movement through space, unable to settle, unable to lay on that which it names. He began to fixate on the motions around him, yet his fixation never fixed to any single point in the way one watches rain outside a window trickle down, until it is lost by the eyes. Ever so carefully he began to turn around, his gaze upwards to the source. For a brief moment he stood, half blinded, half paralysed by the dust gliding divinely through the air, never ending, never beginning. He wanted to merge with the light, to disappear into it and radiate back into the eternal nothingness that hung over every moment. His skin burned as every pore burst, his hair fell out as it stood on end scorching itself to be scattered away into the subtle winds. The table broke the silence throughout the room as his body positioned itself on top of the surface. His body rocked the table beneath, the wood splintering and buckling under his feet. As his hands grasped around the edges of the clock the table finally gave way, leaving the body with no foundation to support itself with. His legs swung like a pendulum forcing his fingers to grip tighter onto the clock as he slipped on each side, desperately hanging on, before a loud snap preceded his crash onto the floor, bringing the clock down, as it still remained shining its twilight into the room.
A_ or N_He lay with his back on the floor staring at the clock, the dim light resting on his chest inches away from his face. Again he could see the dust floating but he could only look through it and past it as to what was beyond. For the first time since he entered into the room he remembered what had happened before this event had even begun to occur (or perhaps it was beginning before he knew it even existed). With a heavy sigh he threw his head back letting it hit the floor; he could sense he was losing himself. His eyes glanced backwards as if going through his head towards the door where all of his questions now placed themselves. In the light from his chest, the letterbox faintly reflected indents on the lower rim flickering when the light hit it. His body hurled towards it as he kneeled, shoving the light towards the tampered metal.
"Love your solitude and bear with sweet sounding lamentation the suffering it causes you."