A Certain Dignity

He was always right - that’s what I hated about him; and loved. The sperm had barely reached my egg and there he was, a tiny, heartbeat in my body. That’s how badly he wanted to live; to be in this world. He never gave me any trouble except for a manic hankering for mustard covered sardines followed by anything Häagen-Dazs. And later, when I looked like a hot air balloon, he used my kidneys as pillows. Why wouldn't he? They must've looked plump and inviting. Anyway, all was forgiven when he arrived; a healthy baby boy with a pair of lungs that would give Pavarotti a run for his money. From the moment he stepped foot in the world he refused my breast milk; I had to feed him formula. I felt cheated (plus it was more expense). Then I found out I had HIV. He was always right - that’s what I hated about him; and loved.