- Vol. 03
- Chapter 02
ΕἰμαιLauren can put her leg behind her head. She can only do this because she does it many times a week – many times a month – many times a year. And she has done this for many years. She does not truly know why she does this; it has never become an easy thing to do. She follows her guru’s instructions, though he speaks no English. She follows his directions, though at times he seems disinterested in her. She follows him still, though he is no longer of flesh. She still hears him in her head.
Some days, her body is simple - her mind is complex. Some days, her body is complex - her mind is simple. This is her journey. Every day she swims, sometimes with the tide, sometimes against the tide. This is her life. Her practice has become her gauge.
Lauren does not like the dark. She cannot see in the dark as the big-eyed fish in the deepest oceans do. Sometimes Lauren is in the dark. She does not like the dark. Lauren can put her leg behind her head. It helps her escape the dark. Her Guru says life is simple, said, life is simple. Lauren had, has her doubts. Guru laughs, freely, like a child. Life was never simple, life is never simple, but she heads towards the light, and on some days she too laughs, though not as freely as her Guru.
Lauren can hold her breath, her breath in, and her breath out. Holding her breath in, or her breath out, brings stillness into her mind, calming the waves. It brings stillness to every single cell of her body. Life can be simple, sometimes beautiful.
Lauren has been learning Greek. Her favourite verb is ‘εἰμαι.’ It means ‘I am.’ Her favourite Sanskrit mantra is ‘Soham.’ It can be said to mean ‘I am that.’ She breathes in with the sound of ‘soooo’ in her mind, and breathes out with the sound ‘hummm,’ also in her mind. It is also said to mean, ‘I am in you, and you are in me.’ This is a helpful mantra for Lauren.
Even when she is in the darkest ocean, where only the fish with big eyes can see, she knows that light will follow. She just has to be patient, put her leg behind her head, and breathe.