Irrevocable Things

We lead him to the chosen spot.
A bright day, without clouds,
autumn sun still holding its heat.
He trusts us; we’ve never
given him reason not to trust us.

The sky blue drug goes in,
we see him feel it hit
and then we watch helpless

the violence of his falling and terrible
tumbling over himself, his desperate
lurching refusal to stay down though
unable to stay up; it goes on forever,
until he’s prone at last and Claire
puts her hand over his eye and
he gives in to the shuddering darkness.
A bullet loudly, thankfully, finishes it.

It has dragged the heart from me;
I want to cry wait horse, wait,
come back,
we’ll do it better, it was a kindness
that we meant.

All the regret for every hurt I’ve ever caused,
sadness for everything I’ve ever lost,
is pouring through this rent, that wound,
his drawn back lips, his emptied eyes.