Insane Ambition

The argument, I admit, was my fault.

"How the interview go?"
"They offered me a job."
"That's great."
"I turned them down."
"You did what?"
"I declined their invitation."
"I don't believe this."
"What don't you believe?"
"I don't believe you would throw what I did back in my face."
"Throw what, exactly?"
"I pulled strings to get you that interview, called in a few
favours."
"I'm sorry if you've been inconvenienced, but you must have
realised it wasn't my scene."
"So, we're back to that again are we, your insane ambition?"
"It's not insane; at least it's better than what you do."
"What does that mean?"
"It means you get paid a big salary for sitting at a desk telling
people how to invest their money."
"Well at least I have a proper job, I live in the real world and
I bring a wage packet home. You? You've been working at
this music thing for years and you haven't made a dime,
you're still strumming your guitar and busking on the
streets."

Insane Ambition

"You really don't understand, do you? You been working at
that place so long you've turned into one of them."
"Well, it sure beats ending up like you; twenty five years old
and you still haven't grown up. Pipe dreams, pop stardom,
visions of setting the world alight, the whole thing's a joke."
"You used to say I had talent, you believed in me and said I
could achieve anything if I worked hard at it."
"I still do - but you should work on your craft in your spare
time. Having a full time job would get you out of bed in the
morning, it would give you confidence and it would bring in another salary." "Money. That's all you care about; all you've ever cared about."

I walked out, just taking my guitar with me and wound up here. I often come here when I want to get away from things, when I'm looking for some peace and quiet and writing new material. But now I'm here I'm starting to wish I was back home building bridges. I lot is said in the heat of an argument , some harsh truths spoken and faults lie on both sides. But I so want to make things up with her and, if I'm totally honest, I regret saying what I did about her job; but she's never understood my vocation, my calling - and that certainly isn't banking.

I guess I'll stay here for a while, calm myself down and return home refreshed, yet humble. Then I'll apologise for what I said. And I'll apologise again for turning down that job.

Insane Ambition

I won't abandon my first love (music), but I'll mull over what she said and it would be in my best interests to take her advice; she is, after all, my older sister and evidently knows the world better than I do.