Do not cross a Scots girl, even if you come from Texas

So ah thought ah'd head doon Princes Street
blendin in wi the buskers an the pipes.
I'd brought ma see-you-Jimmy hat:
upcycled likes, re-styled.

'Plaid's actually not tartan.' So?
Like ah gie a fuck as ah stride.
Scatter tourist throngs like bowling pins
as ah dart, as ah swagger, as ah glide

to the Caley, where in room 6 - 9
he's up to his een in her arse.
Seemed a fitting end, for a cowboy prick,
syonara-d by his ain shotgun's blast.