Ode to a Pudgy Pet

To pamper
Brush with a fine-tooth comb
Take to Grandma’s house
and show off your curly tail
To cuddle and snuggle in bed
on wintry nights
Use you like a hot water bottle
to relieve a dull pain
Manicure those hog-feet nails,
and post pictures on social media
with an adorable pet Instagram

To feast at a vegetarian
restaurant
Sing melancholy songs
when the lights are out
Converse for hours in girl talk
when my hair is up
I would never consider
mistreating you,
or putting you out to pasture
where they’ll pickle your feet
and slow cook your ham.