What the heck

I’d rather we didn’t win and I’d prefer not to do the walk. If you’re giving me a choice – yeah, yeah, I know you’re not, never have, never will – I’ll take my lunch and mooch. If it’s all the same to you – it isn’t! I know it! – I’ll just leave it and maybe go for dreads – the chance! A fine thing!
You see, the fact is, there’s a rumour in this world that there’s this mutual thing going on, but I’m the only one with any self-awareness around here. Okay – maybe, just maybe - she has a little – sometimes. But you – ah, what to say? – look at yourself. Instead of looking at me, look in the mirror. Not the check, not the knot, no, not the lapels, not the hair – just look at you and tell me what you see. Get naked, like I’m naked, and do the thinking thing. Don’t go thinking about what she’s thinking or the others are thinking. Just look, hold your reflection, and do your thinking. What do you see? Put the brush down first. Forget all that dog stuff – go on, it’s just you as a human person and you as a guy with thoughts. Ah, stop the shrugging. Come on, how difficult is this? Look at her then – you could learn a lot from that face. From me, you’ll learn nothing – you’re too busy imposing to get anyway near learning anything from me. Ah, I mean – why – ah, what the heck. I give up. I’m through with you. I’m through with you all over my inside. I’ll be doing this again next month and the month after that, but the judges are going to see something new when they look in my eyes and they’re not going to like it one little bit.