• Vol. 01
  • Chapter 09
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Knight to King’s Bishop

Nay, your Grace, you should think yourself lucky,
zigzagging singlehanded out to the eighth rank like that.
You might have come back with a lot worse
than a bashed-in mazzard wrapped in bandage.
You can’t do that daredevil stuff at your age: we need
a plan of attack. Wait until the rooks have smashed
his ranks of pawns and taken half the damage,
and for God’s sake, forget the disputation you had
on the subject of transubstantiation, and work
in concert with your brother bishop: it’s the only way
to cover every quarter. Leave it to us knights
to do the prancing and the chivalric stuff: we’re good
at that, being the only bits of wood capable of
cutting corners. Sit tight. Concentrate. Six well-
considered moves, and it is mate. And oi you!
Golly! Watch out where you’re
going with that
goddamn
shopping
trolley!
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