• Vol. 03
  • Chapter 02

David Ogilvy Blues

They lie. The lie to me and I know it. They lie to me and I believe it. Every time. Every time I believe it. Every time it ends the same and I end up back here watching the late movie. Tonight it’s Solomon and Sheba. Except it’s not. He’s not Solomon he’s Yul Brynner. She’s not Sheba she’s Gina Lollobrigida. At least I think she is. And I’m still me.

They lie to me. They lie to me and I believe it.

They tell me this is the shirt for me so I buy it. They tell me that this year my shirt should have a button-down collar so this year all my shirts have button-down collars and I believe them. They tell me this pair of jeans is the pair of jeans to own so I buy them. I buy multiple pairs of the jeans they tell me I should own just in case I’m caught out without a clean pair of the jeans I should own. They tell me that these are the shoes for me. They tell me that everything I could ever want will be mine if I just wear a pair of these shoes. And I believe them. They tell me that to find my truest wish I should have my hair cut like this, so I have my hair cut like this and I make sure my hair is cut regularly like this so I can always be ready for my truest wish. And I believe them. They tell me that I should always wear this aftershave so the woman of my dreams will find me. So I make sure I am always clean-shaven and wearing this aftershave so the woman of my dreams can find me. They tell me these lies. They tell me these lies and I believe them.

They tell me to be this person and everything I could ever want will come to me. I walk out into the night looking and feeling and smelling like they tell me.

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David Ogilvy Blues

They tell me I look glorious as I walk out into the night and everything and anything I could ever imagine is out there waiting for me because I look and I feel and I smell like they tell me I should. They tell me these things and they lie to me. They tell me these things and I believe them. I believe them every time.

So after walking around in the night I come home. So after sitting in the pub I come home. So after standing in the club I come home and everything I could ever want is somewhere else.

So I fold away the shirt and I fold away the jeans. And I put away the shoes that hurt my feet and I shower away the aftershave.

And I watch Solomon and Sheba walking through the valleys of Israel. Except it’s not, it’s a sound stage, or northern California.

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