Confirmed Bachelor Explains

If they irritate you
and so many do
you don’t seek them out

until you need them
and when you’re through
you get up and go home

and tell them you’ll call
but you never do until
you need them.

Then you call around
until one of them says
it’s fine to come right over

and over you go
and when you’re through
you get up and go home

and tell them you’ll call
but you never do until
you need them.

You keep their numbers
ranked on your phone
according to criteria.

Lush is important
but so is location and
and minimal aggravation.

Confirmed Bachelor Explains

You’ve done it this way
since Gloria Steinem taught
the joy of liberation.

It’s harder now because
you’re older and depend
on handicapped parking.