A Short Play for George

PART 1: YOU'RE IN THE BASEMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE HIDING. YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT YET.

It's cool and dark. It smells like damp concrete. You kneel down thinking: I'll cry intensely for 5 minutes and then I'll get my shit together and get on with my life. But you don't cry. You just sit there. Then, Annika, you realise...

ANNIKA

Hello?

There's a figure crouched between the coat rack and the bikes.

ANNIKA (CONT'D)

I SAID HELLO-

The figure looks up. It's the woman who delivered the mail.

WOMAN DELIVERING MAIL

That's bad news isn't it... The tests...

ANNIKA

It's not /that bad

WOMAN DELIVERING MAIL

Well...

A Short Play for George

ANNIKA

It just means life won't be the way I thought it would be. It doesn't need to be disappointing. It just means I start again with, you know, all my dreams and fantasies

There's a stirring by the broken lamp. As your eyes adjust you see there's all these other women down here on their knees. Your husband's here too. Your brother. The kids from next door - Henry and Layla

LAYLA

Where's your cat?

PART 3: YOU'RE IN THE BASEMENT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GET AWAY FROM WIFI. YOU WANT TO STOP LOOKING UP WHAT THIS LUMP UNDER YOUR ARMPIT MIGHT BE.

EDWARD

If we just gave you a side part... brushed your hair and put you in something that looks more like day clothes.

He measures your inner leg.

EDWARD (CONT'D)

I think for you it's all about textures that suggest discipline.

ANNIKA

Don't measure shoulder to wrist...please...it's too loaded.

A Short Play for George

EDWARD

Annika I promise you. What you have is a sebaceous cyst. Nothing to worry about.

Edward's hands are shockingly soft and warm and damp.

ANNIKA

Why don't you look me in the eye Edward? Are you lying?

EDWARD

I was trained in non-confrontational dialogue by a terrier. If I look you straight in the eye...

PART 2: YOU'RE IN THE BASEMENT BECAUSE WHEN YOU WOKE UP ALL THE PLANTS WERE DEAD. DID YOU FORGET TO WATER THEM? IS THE AIR CONTAMINATED?

The air's ok. It's the water.

PART 3: YOU'RE IN THE BASEMENT BECAUSE YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND PULLED A 40CM PINK WORM OUT OF YOUR ASS. YOU WISH IT HADN'T HAPPENED. YOU KEEP REPLAYING IT IN YOUR MIND. YOU TALK ABOUT IT WHEN YOU SHOULD BE PITCHING FILM IDEAS TO PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY GOOD AT THEIR JOBS. YOU TALK ABOUT IT WHEN IT'S THE LAST THING ON EARTH YOU SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT. WHEN YOU SHOULD BE SEDUCING DAMMIT.

A Short Play for George

ANNIKA

That piece of cord hanging from the ceiling you see it? It looked like that.

PART 4: YOU'RE IN THE BASEMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE LOOKING TO HEAR THE SEA. AND THERE'S THAT SHELL YOUR GRANDMA GAVE YOU. IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL TO TAKE A SHELL LIKE THAT NOW.

Can't find it? Ear to the vent.